Meet Stoney Baloney, the only slice of lunch meat your mom told you not to hang out with.
He’s got sunglasses, a cigarette, and big “I peaked in 1987 but I’m still vibing” energy.
This tee is for anyone who:
Has ever eaten a gas-station sandwich unironically
Thinks baloney is a personality type
Believes every meat deserves a redemption arc
Or simply wants to wear a stoned deli circle on their chest with pride
Throw it on, light nothing in particular, and cruise through life like a chilled-out pork disc with nothing to lose.
Stoney Baloney says relax.
And you should listen — he’s smoked and cured.
AKA “the stuff you pretend to care about”
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²) — not too thick, not too flimsy
• Pre-shrunk fabric so it doesn’t turn into a crop-top by accident
• Side-seamed construction for that “real brand” energy
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping because durability is sexy
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
• Soft enough that you’ll consider making it your personality
Meet Stoney Baloney, the only slice of lunch meat your mom told you not to hang out with.
He’s got sunglasses, a cigarette, and big “I peaked in 1987 but I’m still vibing” energy.
This tee is for anyone who:
Has ever eaten a gas-station sandwich unironically
Thinks baloney is a personality type
Believes every meat deserves a redemption arc
Or simply wants to wear a stoned deli circle on their chest with pride
Throw it on, light nothing in particular, and cruise through life like a chilled-out pork disc with nothing to lose.
Stoney Baloney says relax.
And you should listen — he’s smoked and cured.
AKA “the stuff you pretend to care about”
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²) — not too thick, not too flimsy
• Pre-shrunk fabric so it doesn’t turn into a crop-top by accident
• Side-seamed construction for that “real brand” energy
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping because durability is sexy
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
• Soft enough that you’ll consider making it your personality