Finally — a shirt that says what your group chat wishes they could say to you.
Meet our overly-enthusiastic, slightly-judgmental, planet-shaped life coach who’s so proud of you… unless you’re making horrible choices, in which case: “Nobody loves that for you.”
This tee is giving:
🌎 Children’s-museum mascot energy
🌈 Ironic self-help poster from 1998 vibes
😃 Toxic positivity sprinkled with just enough realism
👟 A world that wants the best for you, but also wants you to get it together
Wear it when you need to subtly tell everyone around you that their decisions are bad and you’re not emotionally available enough to stop them.
Basically: it’s cute, it’s stupid, it’s a little too honest — aka peak Basically Trash.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton — soft enough to trick people into thinking you have your life together
• (Heather colors contain polyester, because of course they do. Everyone has a messy side.)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd² — lightweight, breathable, and perfect for sweating through your bad decisions
• Pre-shrunk fabric, because the only thing in your life that should shrink is your patience
• Side-seamed construction for that “accidentally flattering” silhouette
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping to hold everything together (since you clearly can’t)
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US — aka from places that don’t judge your shopping habits
Finally — a shirt that says what your group chat wishes they could say to you.
Meet our overly-enthusiastic, slightly-judgmental, planet-shaped life coach who’s so proud of you… unless you’re making horrible choices, in which case: “Nobody loves that for you.”
This tee is giving:
🌎 Children’s-museum mascot energy
🌈 Ironic self-help poster from 1998 vibes
😃 Toxic positivity sprinkled with just enough realism
👟 A world that wants the best for you, but also wants you to get it together
Wear it when you need to subtly tell everyone around you that their decisions are bad and you’re not emotionally available enough to stop them.
Basically: it’s cute, it’s stupid, it’s a little too honest — aka peak Basically Trash.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton — soft enough to trick people into thinking you have your life together
• (Heather colors contain polyester, because of course they do. Everyone has a messy side.)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd² — lightweight, breathable, and perfect for sweating through your bad decisions
• Pre-shrunk fabric, because the only thing in your life that should shrink is your patience
• Side-seamed construction for that “accidentally flattering” silhouette
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping to hold everything together (since you clearly can’t)
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US — aka from places that don’t judge your shopping habits